what’s going wrong

how do i feel such a deep love

yet people still say its not real

how can this feel so real

and they all tell me it’s a big huge lie

what am I missing here

whats going wrong

one minute your pushing me there 

the other your pulling me right along 

my hearts saying one thing

my head says it’ll come along 

everyone’s telling me what they think 

I’m so lost, still i’ll try to be strong

I try to forget their words 

and focus on what matters only 

it then is all that matters 

there’s only gonna be room for us three

trying to listen and know what’s right

and still trying to follow my heart

how do you know what’s really right

how do you know if its true?

I’m lost

and your all sending me in circles

I didn’t ask and yet you still tell

I didn’t tell and you still poured it out

i just want to know his plan

i just want our heart to be happy 

i’m not giving up on love yet

I’m just praying he’ll show me the right way

she dreams.

there’s something there that you don’t see

it’s underlying 

it’s breaking me

there’s smiles and laughter 

a girl who can make you feel pure joy 

but if you looked under the surface 

if you peeled back the layers

you’d see a girl that’s been hiding 

drowning in her own prayers 

There’s a girl that knows breaking 

a girl who loves too much

one who feels the pain herself 

and sometimes that pain’s too much 

there’s a girl who longs for love

who misses
what she thought she had
in life’s kisses

she may be whimsical
she dreams
a life of rainbows and beautiful things
she knows it’s fantasy
but it’s better than reality

she misses the closeness
the realness
the touch
of a world of innocence
but that she gave up

hiding behind thoughts
she can see what she wants
if only she did what she thought.

you hold her back
tear the dreams apart
it’s more that just your habit
you’ve made it your art

just give her what she wanted
what she needs more than anything
she’ll live life full hearted
an only have memories of how it all started

do you love me?

sometimes i wonder...
if when you say i love you
do you mean it?

cause in your actions...
i never see it

cause in your words...
i never hear it

cause in my heart...
i never feel it

sometimes i wonder if there is any truth...
to the words that come from your mouth
or if you say them out of obligation

cause when you speak...
your words are on repeat

cause you say you’ll change...
but your the same today as you were yesterday

cause i’m a part of your world...
but you can’t accept or be a part of mine

sometimes i wonder...
if there will ever be a time
when i can talk to you about things

cause i have so much to tell you...
but i’m scared of what you’ll think

cause i always needed you there...
and you just never had the time

cause i don’t know if you love me...
in all these years you have yet to show me

so now i have to wonder...
do you love me?

no not at all.

i like to dream
that i’ll be ok if you walk away
when I know i won’t be
no not at all

i like to believe
that I don’t need a thing from anyone
truth is I need all you can give me
everything

i like to imagine
being in control of my own world
but i’m not capable of knowing it all
it kills me

i like to think
that i’m my own person
how can that be though when you are
part of me
one

i like to ponder
what it would be like if i followed my heart
i’m scared of going my own way
losing you is losing me
wanting to be free

losing myself

dying inside
these feelings i’ve tried hard to hide
won’t contain themselves any longer
 they’re falling, running free
returning me to life's every misery

can’t tell you what’s wrong
you wouldn’t understand these thoughts
to you they sound so wrong

no i’m not a tortured mind
just never finding my rhythm to the worlds rhyme
a different kind of soul
one that’s desperate for you to find

i’m a mess of broken pieces
lost them all to the bottom of the sea
trying to make sense of all the madness
on a long hard trek to find me

I know i’m breaking you apart
dragging you along on this ride
& hurting you in the process
i can’t let go of my pride

trying to fight a feeling
that i don’t know how to feel
I’m lost inside a nightmare
& confused on which world is real

if you could just stay
chase each bad dream away
love me completely
when i push you away

I get so lost within myself at times
always losing my way
trying to somehow read between lines
 of things my mind & heart say

can’t see where i’m going or who i am
just a drifter losing myself to a foreign land

happiness is so elusive

Every moment I waste
wanting nothing but to cry
to just let out all the hurt
turn away
say goodbye

life never feels worth it
only one reason to live
they’re taking everything
when i have nothing left to give

don’t want anything
don’t need anything
there’s never enough i can do
I thought the rules were love them
and you will be loved too

happiness is so elusive
a dream trapped inside itself
you see it
never will you feel it
until you look inside ones self

all you need.

she surrounds herself in a misery no one else can see
lost herself to this world of cruel reality
what is this life she lives?
who is this girl that has nothing left to give?
where’d the hope go.
how did she lose her soul.

Looking for the hope
the rope to hold onto
trying to find some way to cope
running from herself
dreams what can possibly be left?

Caught in a cobweb
of everything they want her to be
thinking she’s going her own way
but she just follows where they lead
lost inside herself
drowned in confusion
what does this heart want?

they say they need her
they say they care
all she feels is used
abandoned
bruised

Her dreams are all behind her
she left them to give you yours
she’s scared and weak and so confused
but you don’t see her
even though she’s given you a million clues

she’s in a place you don’t want to go
crying out running in place
hiding cause to you
she’s nothing but a disgrace

hold on to what’s broken
make strong what’s slowly going
forget the pain, the tears, the not knowing

i’m all you need.
all you need.
hold onto me.
cause for your soul...i’m dying.

to the parents.

you ask me to think for myself
yet when  do i disappoint you

you say you want to be a part of my life
then you leave me in my room alone with my thoughts.

never asking if i’m ok
so how am i supposed to know you care?

you say you’ll ALWAYS be there
so why do I feel as if i’m the only one here?

i love you
i need you
thought for so long i couldn’t live without you

now i see that I’m drowning in your control
I can’t learn to think for myself
when your a constant in my mind.

just need you to let go
to loosen your grip
hand over some of the control

you’ve taught me well
you’ve given me wisdom
so now is the time to sit back
watch the vision

i may lose my focus
i could get lost in the way of man
i could stumble
but know i’ll always reach for His hand

let me make mistakes
you can’t prevent them all
let me find my way
even if that means watching me stumble and fall

cause i’m finding i can’t live this way
i’m no longer a child
and now it’s time for me to go my own way

a driving need to be free
to break away
to be who i am
find the real “me”

i’m not saying i don’t need you
i know i do
i need your support
to know your behind me no matter what  do
will you be there?

it’s a journey i have to take
don’t hold me back
don’t make it worse

i’ll be ok
i promise
and hopefully one day...
you’ll be proud of what i know i can be

to the parents.
this is all new to me.
i’m taking baby steps
just let me go and watch me.