forgotten destiny

feel hot tears roll off my lashes
this feeling never passes

there are no regrets
but my mind is not set
on what it wants to do.

heart pounds, jumps, races
think of the most solace places
i want to fly away too

the easiest is never right
the hardest is strongly felt
the right feels painfully damaging
and wrong is just too tempting

mind so trapped in every thought
can’t speak
won’t speak
you wouldn’t understand
it’s just wasted in your hands

look at this shell you call me
don’t recognize
because there’s a lostness behind her eyes

what is destiny what is fate
when it is all controlled?

twisted
distorted
obscured

never where i wanted to be
nowhere close to what I dreamed

wretched wonderer
you’ve traveled too far
to find out
you never left who you are

ghosts of your past
haunt your future
kill them kill them kill them
or they’ll be with you forever

run away
problems follow anyway
turn around
stand your ground
and fight

will it not be fine?
will it not all be right?

fear, a friend
pain, a sister
death, a lover

given all away
never having held much back
how to continue forward
to never look behind
to never again wonder or ask of yourself why?

to knowingly break, tear, shatter two hearts apart.
to resume the life of the living
yet not know what to live for

where does the bad, the painful, the hatred, lostness and fear end?
will there ever be good?
does it not get better than this?

i ponder if it is all simply a life lived of our own choosing
or is life merely providential?
do the choices we make truly determine our path?
or is this our path of fate?

does he bring us where we are to go?
or does he take the poor choices and make them his own?

never telling you how complicated life will be
no you must first grow up
then be slapped with reality

confused with the question of which door to go through
how does one know, if none are locked
then which one is meant for you to go through?

seen as failing
disappointment etched into their faces
a cause to hide your pain
hatred this world readily embraces

change the world to see
that if once more they opened blind eyes to see
a place of hope and beauty
then maybe
just maybe
I can be free.

to live my long lost & forgotten destiny.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

lost
in a world that swallowed me
broken
by people I always thought loved me
here
in a place i’ve never been
there
where I want to be but just can’t reach


do you see how I try
hear me in the night when the tears won’t stop
and my heart it dies

i wish you would care enough to let it go
you say you care
but your love has never showed

i can’t show you what’s inside
bruised broken bloody
everything i tried to hide
it’s all locked away now
in a lifeless person it resides

hurt
by twisted words and broken promises
confused
by choices decisions you’re making me decide
burdened
by the weight of love that will never be
displaced
because you’ve made me a stranger to my own family

i ask how much lower can I be
you laugh in my face and say if this is low
then you just wait
you can make it worse for me

i’m confounded
by what my head and my heart are saying
they won’t come together
they won’t change their ways
so which do I believe
which one goes and which stays?

i’m ready to give up this life
what’s the point
when it’s filled with grief and strife
I can’t move on and I can’t go back
so there’s only really one choice for me
to live without anyone anything
to give up
give it all
everything

you lost me
you broke me
you hurt me

you burdened me
you confused me
you forgot me

you’ve driven a world between us

hope your happy now

save me.

all i know is that I can’t see

my mind is full

my heart’s not free

i wondered far away

and I don’t know how to get back

where am i? 

who am i? 

i can’t hear

there’s too many voices in my head

too many things not left unsaid

i just want to hear you

to know that your still there

to feel you in my life 

everything screams for you to give me a reason

send me your sign

i’m a sad excuse for human

i’ve fallen and drifted behind

i don’t want to do this anymore 

i can’t take the pain of hurting everyone around me

turning into something that was never meant to be

i’m broken...bleeding...dying.

wou hear my whispers in the darkness

you see the tears that are always ready to fall

i just want to be free from this

free from it all

from the mess of my life...the mess i’ve made of it all

save me.

you push.

you push and push
always pushing
never holding back
you push and push
until it’s a little too late

you’ve driven me over the edge
to a place I never wanted to be
now i’m forgotten
in a place where no man should be

you love me
though your only human
you fight for me
though we’re only flesh

I beg you to stop
I beg you to let go
can’t you see
you just keep pushing
pushing pushing
pushing yourself away from me

you give me all your words
you fill my brain with human opinions
you don’t give me a second to breathe
you won’t just let me fall

do you not see it’s not me that’s faltering
cause I know who’s going to catch me
your scared to let go
cause you can’t help but want the control

instead your hurting me
your pushing pushing
always pushing
never holding back
pushing yourself away from me.

you push and push
until it’s too late.

you pushed
and now i’m gone
you pushed when you were trying so hard to hold on
now this girl is gone.