she dreams.

there’s something there that you don’t see

it’s underlying 

it’s breaking me

there’s smiles and laughter 

a girl who can make you feel pure joy 

but if you looked under the surface 

if you peeled back the layers

you’d see a girl that’s been hiding 

drowning in her own prayers 

There’s a girl that knows breaking 

a girl who loves too much

one who feels the pain herself 

and sometimes that pain’s too much 

there’s a girl who longs for love

who misses
what she thought she had
in life’s kisses

she may be whimsical
she dreams
a life of rainbows and beautiful things
she knows it’s fantasy
but it’s better than reality

she misses the closeness
the realness
the touch
of a world of innocence
but that she gave up

hiding behind thoughts
she can see what she wants
if only she did what she thought.

you hold her back
tear the dreams apart
it’s more that just your habit
you’ve made it your art

just give her what she wanted
what she needs more than anything
she’ll live life full hearted
an only have memories of how it all started

do you love me?

sometimes i wonder...
if when you say i love you
do you mean it?

cause in your actions...
i never see it

cause in your words...
i never hear it

cause in my heart...
i never feel it

sometimes i wonder if there is any truth...
to the words that come from your mouth
or if you say them out of obligation

cause when you speak...
your words are on repeat

cause you say you’ll change...
but your the same today as you were yesterday

cause i’m a part of your world...
but you can’t accept or be a part of mine

sometimes i wonder...
if there will ever be a time
when i can talk to you about things

cause i have so much to tell you...
but i’m scared of what you’ll think

cause i always needed you there...
and you just never had the time

cause i don’t know if you love me...
in all these years you have yet to show me

so now i have to wonder...
do you love me?

no not at all.

i like to dream
that i’ll be ok if you walk away
when I know i won’t be
no not at all

i like to believe
that I don’t need a thing from anyone
truth is I need all you can give me
everything

i like to imagine
being in control of my own world
but i’m not capable of knowing it all
it kills me

i like to think
that i’m my own person
how can that be though when you are
part of me
one

i like to ponder
what it would be like if i followed my heart
i’m scared of going my own way
losing you is losing me
wanting to be free

losing myself

dying inside
these feelings i’ve tried hard to hide
won’t contain themselves any longer
 they’re falling, running free
returning me to life's every misery

can’t tell you what’s wrong
you wouldn’t understand these thoughts
to you they sound so wrong

no i’m not a tortured mind
just never finding my rhythm to the worlds rhyme
a different kind of soul
one that’s desperate for you to find

i’m a mess of broken pieces
lost them all to the bottom of the sea
trying to make sense of all the madness
on a long hard trek to find me

I know i’m breaking you apart
dragging you along on this ride
& hurting you in the process
i can’t let go of my pride

trying to fight a feeling
that i don’t know how to feel
I’m lost inside a nightmare
& confused on which world is real

if you could just stay
chase each bad dream away
love me completely
when i push you away

I get so lost within myself at times
always losing my way
trying to somehow read between lines
 of things my mind & heart say

can’t see where i’m going or who i am
just a drifter losing myself to a foreign land