i would

and I’m trying
to hold it all together
to keep it all down
to compress it all inside

cause i can't let you know
that i’m hurting
or about the tears i try to hide

i can’t let anyone see
that i’m broken
and that they are what’s breaking me

i try
i try with all i have
to hold on
to that thread of hope
that things will change

it’s been too long
i know this weakness
and i will never be strong

i have so many fears
so many disappointments
and a lifetimes worth of tears
i’m begging for someone to see them
but on the outside i’m so deceiving

please
don’t notice me

I don’t want you to see
the girl who is me
who lets her emotions control her
who only wants the strength of a shoulder

walking away
it seems so very easy
blocking the world out
it’s the only thing i can do
to get through another day

if i could have your love
your approval
if i could change
my mind and heart
if i could be
what you want me to be

i would

i don’t know what that is
i don’t know who that girl would be
i don’t know anything really
i just know
that i’m me

and that is all i’ll ever know how to be