what is real. what is me. what is life.

I started this the other day, and for once in my life was at a loss for words to say. I don't know how interesting it would be to read about me and my life and thoughts.....i think i'll give it a try though. I want use this to write down some of the things i've been doing....some songs and poems that i have written....and maybe even some journal entries....Idk.....but whatever i put here is totally from my heart and i'm trusting you with it ok?  so here i go.............




I have so much inside i want you to see
But I just wanted you to love and except me for me
If you could see inside my heart
I wonder what you would see
Do you see me overflowing and drowning in love for you
or is it something else

all i ever wanted was for you to see me
All I ever needed was for you to love me
instead I always hurt
feeling broken and looking for the pieces
my tears falling to the dirt
i'm so hurt
so hurt and you don't see
you inflict the pain upon me and then you just leave me be
i'm so hurt


Can it be wrong to love a person
Is it possible to love too easily
Or to give you too much of me
If you would look into my heart
I'd make sure you would see something breaking
You would see how i'm slowly falling apart
Cause I gave everything.
I gave it all
But I don't regret one part of it
I don't regret the fall

All I want is for you to see me
All I need is your love
Instead i sat there and hurt
Cause it's too late
i'm already broken and searching for the answers
Those tears were lost long ago to the earth
it hurt
it hurt so bad and still you can't see
the way you hurt me and then leave it all be
it hurt so bad

I will love again today
And i know i'll give it all away
Cause really it's worth all the hurt
and yes it really is worth all the pain
I'm going to give everything
and love with everything
Cause what is life if you don't love
and how selfish would it be to keep it all
I think i would rather take the plunge
I'd rather make the fall, take the risk and give it all

This time you'll want to see me
This time you'll love to need me
I'm not going to remember the hurt
I have a new start
And love has renewed this wounded heart
Tears are but a faint memory
Joy has replaced the hurt
now i laugh so much it hurts
Leaving me was something you deserved
I laugh not hurt