tell myself to forget.

mind churning things out at a million miles a second
no time to sleep
I can barely remember to breathe
waves of emotion passing over
again and again
yet I can’t feel them

I tell myself to forget
to be numb
don’t remember
don’t feel

If I stop for even a second
it will all crash down around me
everything will fall to pieces
flood gates will pour out like tidal waves

so I keep everything locked up tight
I have to be strong
have to at least pretend like i belong
like there is never anything wrong

my facade is cracking though
slowly this foundation is moving from beneath me
i can’t keep it in
i can’t hold it all together

with each breath it tears me apart inside
with each smile
something falters

i’m scared to let it all go
to just break down
and lose all i know

what if i push you away
when all i really wanted was for you to stay
what if i’m too much
or too little
then it will all be too late

i would have spilled my heart onto broken ground
watching myself slowly drown

I can’t do that
but I know I will
cause my heart isn’t for me
it’s for every person I was ever around

I try to give so much
and take very little
yet it’s catching up with me
i didn’t know I needed love to love me

in this hallucination.

what do i do
when i feel like i’m losing it all
when i’ve learned of your lies
and am quietly hurting from it all

what can i do
when i’m hurt and needing someone too
when i’m needing you
but your too wrapped up in listening to your own woes

what is there to do
when tears refuse to fall
when my heart is broken,
but i’m too numb to feel anything at all

you unravel me
when my hearts a tangled mess
see the depth of me
ocean waves waiting to crash
hear my my silent screams
feel each pain life brings
see me
see me
see me
in this hallucination
i’m not just another mirage
see me
invisible to your naked eye
look through tinted glasses
and give it another try

what have i to do
when truth is wrapped in lies
when i see fear behind your eyes
I love you still, but i’m set in my will
and I let you go

knowledge and wisdom??......(what i think)

you can have knowledge without understanding
what is faith if you have to see to believe

it’s good to have wisdom
not when it costs you a relationship with the One that matters

yes, people are doing horrid things to us and the world we live in
you can’t stop it though
no, there is nothing you can do

except

trust in Him who made it all
know that it’s all in His hands
that it’s out of our control, but it’s completely in His

we have knowledge
we have wisdom
we have freedom
we have power
we have other gods
we believe we can be God

do you think He doesn’t see this
do you think He’s tolerating it

we have so much freedom
it’s hurting us
like adam and eve in the garden
we want everything forbidden
always longing for a knowledge that is too much for us

this world has come to nothing but evil
we know there is something more
how could we forget Him who made us

born sinners
we choose stay that way
turn a blind eye to every truth
harden our hearts against anything true and pure

we search the world over for what we’re looking for
yet, we can’t find it
because we are so blinded with lies
so filled with sin

HE gave us a way out

don’t you see
it’s all out of control
the world is out of control
there is NOTHING that we can do

HE IS THE IMPOSSIBLE

nothing is ever impossible with HIM

so why do we worry
why do we curse each other
why can’t we look to Him for help
is it our own selfish pride

do you honestly think that HE can’t get us out of this mess
He created this earth so why wouldn’t he be able to fix what’s wrong with it
what’s wrong with us

it’s the matter of faith and trust
such little things that can have such an impact on everything
a mustard seed that can move mountains

ok yes, i do agree that we’ve dumbed ourselves down
we have wisdom in everything, but what really matters
constantly seeking answers to everything, yet we still don’t know what we believe

we fill ourselves with a knowledge that is dead
the only knowledge we need is what is right in front of our faces

it’s HIM
HE is all we need

He asks us to ask HIM for wisdom and knowledge and He will give it to us
so we don’t need to search
we can stop looking for it
He gives it to us
all we have to do is ask
trust
believe

He’ll give it to us

to shambles

to shambles
that’s where this is all going
i know the direction
but i’m slowly losing it

i see what i want
it’s running away from me
this is all going down hills
this is nothing of what i dreamed

reality is a cruel friend
it slaps you in the face
every time you fall asleep

i’m running
trying to keep up
i’m stumbling
falling fast
please help me up
i know i can make it

it’s slipping through these hands
i’m fumbling to grasp something
anything
just wanting to hold on to a thread of hope
please be something left for me

you know the plans
somehow i fear they’re not good enough
prosperity plans??
yet my future feels like desert at heart

don’t abandon me yet
please just take me home
all i ever hoped for
everything I dreamed
it’s in your hands now

these tears aren’t what they seam
the hurt is not from pain
it’s dreaming with my eyes closed
never seeing the pouring rain

i still believe there’s hope
i know there’s still a god
rescue me from myself
leave the rest to shambles

see me

one minute i can be so happy
it only takes seconds though for you to cut me down

your breaking me slowly
i’m questioning my worth

darkness fills the spaces
of places we once knew

lost and alone
nobody’s here
no ones at home

crying in the depths of a sad dream
waking to the reality of never having slept

cold and stuffed in a corner
begging for a glance
hoping
praying
for our eyes to meet

persistent deep longing within a soul
holding on so tight to something
afraid to let go

see me in this darkness
be the light that takes me away

make me into what you wanted
be the one i can’t push from me
away

darkness closes in so fast
be the one that saves me

watch it ticking
every grain that falls
keep your eye on the hour glass

don’t wait too long

i’m here

i’ve been waiting

please.....just see me

.....

i'm at my end
i'm sinking low
i'm losing touch
i'm letting go

i can't hold this in
i won't let this be
i'm jumping now
because i need to be free

i give my all
every last piece
just to be run over
cause your love you won't release

for a while i take it
for a little longer I live with it
the hurt builds and builds
until I can't take it anymore

i explode

you see
i was made to be loved too
i have feelings
a heart
just like you

love is like air to me
without it
i'm a tragedy

maybe i'm better off alone
i'll love and live for myself
maybe i'll disappear
and escape from life itself

all i ever wanted

all i saw in my dreams

all i know now

is that love is all i've needed

love is what created us 

and love never fades

people.

People don't see anymore, nor do they care to.
We all walk around in our own worlds without a thought or care for anyone else.
We are a people that have become...
Unfeeling
Dissatisfied
Complacent
Self centered

People are hurting.
They are hurting so much, but they keep it to them selves.
No one wants to be bothered with someone else's pain.
We all have more than enough pain to go around.

If only we could stop hiding what we feel.
If only we could all open up again and let love back in.
If we could show love, be love, live love, then maybe this world wouldn't hurt so much.
If we could all take a hint from the One who is love...
This world wouldn't suffer so.

PEOPLE LOOK UP!!
PEOPLE WAKE UP!!
Open your eyes to what is around you!
Take the focus off of this life and let's look into the next.
That is the only life that truly matters.
Yet, it's what we do in this life...
What we decide in this life...
How we live out this life...
That rings into eternity.

This isn't about us...
It's about the One who is.
The One who set everything in motion that first day.
This is about a Lover.
A Lover of people...of man.

People...
You search and you search for what is right in front of you.
Your looking for something that's never been lost.
Open your eyes...
People turn your heads up above.
This is the light...
You have lived so long in darkness that now you don't recognize it.
You can't tell truth from deception.
Right from wrong.

People...
Don't you see this is the hope.
This is the freedom that is ours.
Take it.
Embrace it.
Share it.

When you finally wake up from the spell this world has on you..
Then you'll see.
He is the One.
He is Love.
He is what we need.
What we want.
More than we could ever hope for.

Let's stop looking down.
Stop seeing only ourselves.
Let's take a long hard look at at Him, because He is Love.
Take notes.
Study hard.
Let's model our lives after His.

Only then will change truly come.
Only then will a difference be made.
The outpour of this life floods into the next.
This is only the beginning...
In the end there is so much more.

So People...

Please...

Wake up...

what i need

when life shatters
and everything comes tumbling down
when everything you once knew
is nowhere to be found
that's when you hold me

when i'm broken
in pieces to small to be found
and i'm dying inside
love is not around
you breathe life in me

when words don't speak
i'm too lost
in the moment
when things are dire and bleak
your words whisper to me

it's all i can do
to love you
to believe in you
there's nothing i can say
to make you leave
or drive you away

you are what i need