this is the beauty of living.

I love the beauty of watching life unfold
seeing a world of gray fade away
into vibrant colors of a beautiful day

watching the clouds sprinkle down their love
and the pavement glisten in response to them
hearing the birds sing as they bathe in the dew

the smell of the earth mixed with the wind
tells us summer is here
sounds of laughter from children echo in backyards

trees swaying in rhythm of the world
flowers reaching praising the One up above
sparrows sing there songs in wondrous adoration

this is the beauty of living
walking through woods and fields
and listening for your voice in the wind..
seeing your smile in the sunshine rays
seeing your heart in everything you've made

things in this planet earth bring me such joy
make me stand in aw of life's Maker
how amazing heaven must be...

....I didn't fight for you

i'm broken lying shattered on the floor

this burden so heavy

i can't take it anymore

i can only imagine the pain you've been through

everything i thought was just the drama of being you

really it was so much more

you've been bruised, hurt, broken

why wasn't i there before

i carry this pain for you in my heart

as if it was my own

the guilt i feel is so deep

so unrelenting 

i wasn't there for you 

my word i didn't keep

i didn't fight for you

i didn't even try to

i left you all alone 

thinking that you could fight your own battles

selfishly looking only after myself

what I would do to have taken your place

to have been the strong one when you were weak

what i would do to go back and change the past for you

tears flood my heart for you

pain plagues my soul constantly 

such a cruel evil world we live in

people filled with hatred 

inflicting innocents with their cruelty and sin

if i could take every pain for you

if i could only live through what you've been through

if i could carry this weight for you

if I could erase the past and make you new 

but i can't

i can't stop the hurt

can't save you from what is in this world

I can't protect you even though if i could i would

i'm sorry dear one

so very very sorry

i've failed you like never before

i've broken the promise 

and everything i should have stood for

i'm sorry

i'm so so sorry 

the state of my heart

it's ripped open wide

bleeding broken bloodied shattered torn

i'm drowning in these tears

i can't fix it

this is your reality

what you've been drowning in for years

i'm sorry....

i'm sorry....

i'm so sorry...

i should have been there.

it should have been me.

guilt and pain are now what plague me.

longing....

so small in comparison to all that you are
my feeble attempts to put to words
the hands that hold who we are

i am nothing
still you come and make me something
always trying to go my own way
your gentle hand guides me and will always stay

lost in the deepness of a brighter star
emotions rolling out of me
cause I don't deserve to know who you are

burning passion in my heart
could only come from who made it start
to know of the man called love
my heart cries because i cannot contain it

you hear each word uttered in desolation
see every bruise from lies confusion
hold the one who is begging for more
not even the sparrow will you ignore

holding onto you
all that you've made new
watching it all fall away
i want you to guide my steps every day

desperate to know you
hungry for more than they can offer
tired of fighting myself
i'm taking your love off the bookshelf

doubt

how it consumes you

stops you from doing what you want to

how it stalks your every thought

you can't think

you can't function

because it eats at you

it tells you your no good

you can't do anything

you'll never be good enough

it makes you second guess everything 

until your so exhausted you do nothing

it lets fear overtake you

till your a cripple with no purpose 

it steals time away from you

makes you look back and regret 

it makes your future look dire 

and your heart feel so glum

it can ruin your life

it changes who you are 

and limits what you do

you question reality 

you live in disbelief 

it's self inflicted misery

you hesitate 

it makes you think what if 

or if only

i'm at my end

i've had more than enough

I need to live without you now 

and learn to trust without fear 

you are my enemy 

though like a friend you appeared

so I'm leaving you here 

goodbye doubt

what the future holds

what the future holds
no one knows
where do the years go
people we've outgrown
tomorrows fears

lost in an uproar
losing my heart
grasping the darkness
eyes searching for light
too tired
to weary to put up a fight

whispers in silence
burn of the cold
my heart is telling me one thing
my mind is starting to fold

remembering the lost days
returning to what I know
people all around me
tears begging just flow

stuttering through life
searching for what's right
what's true
where is the light

who is there to believe
what can you possibly trust
it's not enough to have wisdom

sit in your sorrows
drown in broken promises
take all the empty tomorrows

consider your hopes and dreams
think of it all
you know what this means

losing all
or gaining everything
not broken from the fall
never waiting for the call

say what you may
think as you will
this is what I am
and in the end
i choose this still

life takes chances
love jumps in
this is the part we find out
if it's sink or swim

departing from what was
learning it's the past
life is  fleeting
just watch the hour glass

battling promise
fighting loves dream
don't belittle me
it is more than it seems

holding on
thread of hope
life so promising
love very real

it's remembering
your heart
pieces lost
fight for them
remain together at all costs

i've found you

I've found you
and you weren't what I expected
cause your so much more
your my love
the only one I adore

the way I feel for you
words just can't express
you are more then wonderful
your my angel
and because of you they call me blessed

my heart you've taken
though yours i stole
you have my love
your my world
my all

at first I couldn't see
how much you mean to me
God's showing me everyday
that you are meant for me in every way

I will never stop loving you
And I promise i'll always try to be there
even when things get hard
i'll always stand right here

Love is such a funny thing
it changes you
you never know what it will bring
until it comes and changes everything

So spend the rest of forever with me
let's journey together
on every uncharted sea
everything will fall into place
just you wait and see

Tonight is Mine

Sitting under the wide open sky
Constellations tell their stories
Planes glide through the night as they fly by
On a journey somewhere far

I sit and ponder what it would be like
If you were here with me
Would you lay under the dark blue and hold me in your arms
As you tell the secrets of the stars
While the moon bathes us in it's glory

I would hang the moon and catch every falling star
Always wondering where you are
Now I've found you and the distance
Is so far

Moon so bright tonight
Stars twinkle their sweet melody to us
A lullaby that makes everything alright

Look up at this grand ocean of blue
Lay down
Let it sing to you
And know i'm looking there too
And thinking of you

We are together in heart
Under a sky that reaches
Though we are worlds apart
We are connected by the stars

Tonight is mine
As i dream of you
When i look up at the sky
As I think of their stories

I love you

Goodnight

Is this what love is

Is this what it does to you
Does it mess you up and turn you around
Does it pick you up and make you feel like your flying
Even when your feet are on the ground
Does it take over your mind until he's all you can think about

Is this what love is.....
Is this what it feels like...
Cause I want this to be forever
I don't want this to end love, not ever


Do you start seeing things through rose tinted glasses
Do you fall asleep and pray it's not just a dream that passes
Does it make life all the more worth living for
Or is this really something more


Is this what love is.....
Is this what it feels like...
Is it in the promise of forever
Is it saying I won't let you fall, not ever


Love is unfailing 
It's a journey worth taking
Sometimes it means hurting or breaking 


Love is giving of yourself
Even when others just put your heart on a shelf
It's taking the time when your life is going crazy 
and your feeling a little lazy


I'm starting to know what love is.....
I'm feeling what it's like....
It isn't something easy
but it's something that lasts forever


So tell me what love is like.....
Show me how it feels....
Tell me that we'll be together
And that no matter what we'll have each other