we'll see you soon

tears well up in my eyes
feelings i can't even try to hide

one moment your overjoyed
the next your dying inside

life is such a fragile thing

How can this happen

Life goes on
but your heart will still refuse

a hurt so deep

little baby rest in the arms of our Father
He knows His plan for us

knowing we'll be again together one day
is what keeps me going

remember you I always will
even when it hurts to still

I love you though your face i never knew
I can't wait till the day
when again He'll bring us back to you

I love you little Gabriel Xavier....

we'll see you soon


He heals the broken hearted, binding up their wounds Psalms 147:3
Blessed are they that mourn for they shall be comforted Matthew 5:4

Crashing down

It's all quickly falling apart
the threads have frayed until they've come undone
the mountain is slowly crumbling with a start
Falling and fading along with the sun

Crashing down
like the walls in in that story
pouring out like the heavens flooded
it's all falling upon me
drowning me

Everything I once knew
destroyed before my very eyes
and it was all because of your lies

raising my voice in a battle cry
this was a fight for everything that was right
Losing it all
Job tell me how did you do it
this isn't right

breaking apart
glass shattered on the floor
deceiving ruins everything
if i were you i'd run for the door

WOrld spinning sideways
fire burning in the night
remembering the bright days
now it's all gone along with the light

With words you will deceive
the damage you do will never be gone
you will wish one day
your forgiveness they'll receive

 

things i love

my sisters giggling while playing outside

sunshiny days spent outside

camping

blasting my music sining at the top of my lungs and dancing like crazy (no wonder they think i'm insane)

throwing a football around with my daddy

tackling marcus

taking pictures with michael

michael helping me put make up on

vibrant colors of spring and summer

BBQ with family and friends

staying outside till the wee hours of the morning

that one time me and dani snuck out of the house to lay in the middle of the road and see the eclipse

hanging up Christmas lights

the ridiculous things my mom says

the quiet

Taking pictures on a beautiful day (it's so inspiring)

watching home videos and remembering how we used to be

Changing

remembering the forgotten (9/11 victims, slaves in sudan, orphans, homeless, aborted babies)

crying because something moves you so much

feeling every emotion of a song

taking moments to think deeply about things

racing across an open field

holding a newborn baby

Playing with puppies

Hugging people(because they need it, but i need it more)

making an amazing dessert just because and eating it before dinner

LAUGHTER......it's the greatest sound i've ever heard

this guy named andrew.... :)

watching the sunrise over the ocean...

and even better watching the moon rise over the ocean and seeing it's reflection

being held

loving people with everything in me

driving my car around with the windows down and music blasting

road trips

painting!

doing things i never thought i would do

trying new things

giving things to people

MUSIC..... <3 it moves me.

loving you.

doing things i don't think i'm capable of

(MORE WILL BE ADDED LATER)

i'll wait here for you

I took two days to pray about this

I asked God if this was right 

And if it wasn't that He'd take this away

That if it came to it....that'd He would take you away

The hardest thing I've ever done

I spoke with you last night 

There were so many things I wanted to ask you

So many questions going through my head

I remained silent though

then came a time when you asked me to listen to you 

And the things you said...

they left me speechless

God had right then and there answered my prayers

I was so shocked I almost cried

I love you so much

You are more to me than you'll ever know

I'll wait here for you 

You have no idea how happy you've made me 

Indeed, I do think I am the happiest girl alive

I can't wait till the day we can be together 

I can't even say anymore

Just thinking about it all over again 

leaves me undone

I love you

we don't know what the future will bring

It doesn't matter though as long as we are trusting Him

It will all work out

You'll see

Agghhhh

 

I love you 

i love you 

i love you

Ok i'm done now :)

this is

i've drained myself emotionally
often at night crying myself to sleep
never knowing why i'm this way
always praying happiness will come with the light of day

seeing myself so different so vain
if you looked inside you'd see the pain
secrets and closed doors
tears spilled out on the floor
this is a girl who was looking for something more

this is who i was

lost in knowing myself
scared that who i am will come out
trying to be what isn't me
really just wanting to be set free

masks and disguises my every day wear
this facade is only hiding my despair
wanting to be loved so much
but losing herself to the shyness
 a crutch

A girl afraid of who she is
being real is what loses
happy on the outside
screaming from within
if i could tell you
maybe we would all win

this is who i've been

broken from the lost dreams
still i know what love means
trying again to find you
i didn't know what Your love could do

heart on fire for life once again
i've only had to let you in
living life now for you and me
life is worth living when you've set me free

this is what changed me

sometimes i slip up
sometimes i'm not fine
In those moments you remind me
you hold me up when my life is on the line
when i'm lost you always find me
with love you remind me

In this second i'm so happy
i have so much to live for
i have so much to give
happiness isn't something i could achieve
when i asked you for it
you said just believe

 I'm learning each day
as i need you and i pray
that sometimes life isn't what we wanted
it's what you gave us though
and it's something i'm grateful for
please know

this is what you remind me

Love and laughter are what i want to define me
I hope that these are the things you see
I'm not always perfect
but who could ever be?

running falling
i will pick myself up and run again
cause I want to live a life thats remembered
don't leave me forgotten

dreamer and lover
something i will always be
dreamer of the most impossible things
you make them possible you are the giver of all things
Lover of people and lover of my God
You placed a heart in me overflowing for life

this is who i will be

best friend

My heart is hurting again.
I think I just lost a best friend.
My heart is hurting so
Cause I just can't let you go

I saw it was from your heart
Words from my mouth don't depart
Now everything's messed up
And we're drifting apart

Hold on tight please
to this thin chord that holds us
wanting nothing but release

let's show them we're stronger than this
please speak to me tell me this is
you mean more to me than a relationship like that
so please just tell me where your at

you bring tears to my eyes
a friendship never lies
I love you like a brother
I don't want you to be an "other"

talk to me your dreams
please tell me what it means
I know you had it hard
and now i've gone and played this card

Alone i'll never leave you
Even when it looks like the end to you
your in my life for a reason
I know this is but only a season

Your my best friend.

never asking

I let you see what's inside me.

 I wore my heart on my sleeve. 

You wanted me to listen....i listened but what about you? 

Do you know what i'm going through? 

Do you know what's wrong?
Never asking.
Never caring.

I wonder somedays if you even know me. 

Have we even met. 

because if you've seen this heart you won't forget.

 Look inside me. 

See the realness that is me. 

See how much i love, it's hurting me.

 I'm going with my heart, i'm flowing with my dreams. 

So who are you to say what it all really means. 

With words you pierce my heart and tear me apart. 

Why are you doing this.....I love you. 

I thought you were the best of me. 

Now I'm seeing that nothing comes free.

 I won't throw this out though, no i'm not letting your heart go. 

No matter what happens.......

we have a bond stronger than hurricane

I love you enough to risk the pain 

I hope one day you will pray for change.

words

I turn my face away to hide the pain
words you say cut in vain
close to me yet the distance is far
looking in your eyes i can see
you've forgotten your heart

laugh in my face
cause my life is a joke
something to talk about
make your fun and poke

am i not real
feelings do they not show
cause once upon a time
i was born i'm not a foe

a heart beats in this chest
words are feelings
give them a rest
fighting for truth
i know it the best

on a journey to live out a dream
blood doesn't cut you
and life is as amazing as it may seem

stab me in the back
cause i'm not worth anything
it's what will make you crack
you thought you knew everything

i'll still love you till i die
and even then it won't be goodbye
i'll endure the pain
and not give you a reason to ask why

thinking is too much for you
words just flow
no filter through
i catch them
they just rip right through

so go about your dream
as beautiful as it may seem
true life is not just anything

the world goes round
turns upside down
still you can't see
what your words have done to me